I've been meaning to get this quotation down for ages. I heard it on Radio 4's Chain Reaction programme back in September last year, when Kevin Eldon interviewed Mark Steel.

I think lampposts soon will have little meters on, and you'll put 5p in and it'll give you just enough light to get to the next one: "Why should I pay for someone else's light? I'M INDOORS!… bloody fire-brigade — I'm not on fire! I'll pay when I want carrying over someones shoulder down a smoky bannister!"

These are the sort of people that go: "What about guide dogs? All the money that gets spent on them! I can't climb a tree, nobody buys me a gibbon!"

Mark Steel, on Chain Reaction