A Collection of Lyrics from David Shrigley's 'Worried Noodles'

In anticipation of my visit to the David Shrigley exhibition at the Hayward, here are a collection of my favourite lyrics from his record, 'Worried Noodles'. Lyrics found on moorestevie.com.

A Truce (music by Max Tundra)

I'd like to declare a truce.
—What's a truce?
It's when you agree to stop fighting.
—Have we been fighting?
Yes.
—Are you sure?
Yes.
—When were we fighting?
Just now down there on that plastic mat.
—We weren't fighting, we were playing 'Twister'
Are you sure we weren't fighting?
—Yes. Twister is a game.
A fighting game?
—No, just an ordinary game.
For soldiers?
—No, well, soldiers can play but there is no fighting.
Soldiers love to fight.
—Well, there is no fighting when you're playing 'Twister'. It's against the rules.
There are rules?
—Yes, didn't you know? We've been playing for hours. Didn't you realise?
No. I thought we were fighting.

The Wooden Floor (music by James Chadwick)

The wooden floor is made of wood
And the wood is very good
Oak, we think
The wooden floor is full of grace
And beneath the floor there is a space
Where dirt and bits of stuff reside
And recently, at their side,
A human head
The human head belonged to Pete
Who scuffed the floor
With his giant feet.

He will not be doing that again
Unless his corpse grows a new head
And comes back to life.

Squirrel (music by Munch Munch)

Squirrel squirrel
In the tree
Do me a favour
Collect Nuts for me
Do me a favour
And take the shells off
The nuts
And examine them closely
To check they are not
Rotten
Before you give them to me.

Nut Nut
Beautiful nut
Salt nut
Spicy nut
You'rea good old nut
And I love you.

No (music by Franz Ferdinand)

No no no no no no no no
No hair
No no no no no no no no
No eyes
No no no no no no no no
No teeth
No no no no no no no no
No brains
No no no no no no no no
No arms
No no no no no no no no
No legs
No no no no no no no no
No feet
No no no no no no no no
No shoes
No no no no no no no no
No thanks.

Also: A Sentimental Song, by Cotton Candy